Section 11

Tips for Parents and Caregivers of Children Who are Bullied at School

Because students are in school for most of the day, children are more likely to be bullied at school than anywhere else. In addition to providing support to their children, parents should work with the school to ensure educators are aware of bullying issues and responsive to students’ needs.

In addition to providing support to their children, parents should work with the school to ensure educators are aware of bullying issues and responsive to students’ needs.^17,25-27

Be proactive.
Parents and educators should work together, through Parent-Teacher Organizations or other task forces, to develop and implement effective bullying prevention and intervention strategies.

Know your school’s policies.
Each public school district in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is required to have a policy that addresses bullying. It is important to be familiar with the policies and the procedures that your school employs.

Communicate with school staff.
If your child is the target of bullying, you will need to work with teachers and administrators at the school to implement strategies to end the bullying and prevent retaliation. If the school seems unresponsive to your reports, write a letter that formally requests an investigation and follow-up.

Talk with your child.
Explain what bullying is and why it is wrong. If your child reports bullying to you, praise him or her for having the courage to share the bullying incident with you. Let your child know that you are interested in supporting and helping him or her. Show your child empathy and encourage him or her to share thoughts and feelings about the bullying. Emphasize that you are sorry this happened and no one deserves to be mistreated.

Section 11

Communicate with school staff Sample questions to ask:

What happened?
What happened right before this incident?
Who was there?
Where did this happen?
What time of day, during what period at school, before or after practice?
Was there an adult present?
Did anyone report this to an adult?
Is there an adult at school that you would feel comfortable going to?

Document and report continued bullying.
Keep a log or journal based on information communicated to you from your child. Review the log regularly for frequency, severity and consistency, and share with supervising adults at school. Work with others to increase adult supervision of your child, especially at those times and in those places that you know bullying incidents have occurred. If the bullying escalates and your child is injured physically or emotionally, you may want to visit a doctor to have the injuries formally recorded. You should notify authorities if you suspect bullying crosses the line into criminal activity. (See Section 6)

If your child talks about suicide or seems unusually upset, seek help immediately.
Contact your physician or a mental health provider and request an evaluation. If professionals are not immediately available, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (800) 273-8255.

Identify an adult at your child’s school who has a connection with your child.
This adult can help your child feel safe at school by listening to your child, encouraging your child and receiving reports of suspected bullying. A trusted adult may also check in with your child on a regular basis and communicate with other adults in the school to promote more effective supervision and intervention. Parents may request that the school help them identify this type of support person as part of planning for their child’s safety at school.

Encourage problem solving for safety.
While adults and other bystanders should intervene to stop bullying, this does not always happen. Therefore, it is important that children plan for their safety and develop an array of possible responses to bullying. Encourage the bullied child to identify safe peers, avoid the bullying student(s) as much as possible and inform adults of bullying that has occurred. Children may benefit from identifying possible responses to bullying, in advance of a bullying incident.

Respond to questions like, “Why did they do that to me?” with reassurances to your child.
A simple answer to this common question is that “some people are mean to others” or “maybe he or she was having a bad day.” Do not give answers that may encourage your child to blame himself or herself.

Keep open communication with your child.
Check in with your child regularly to see how things are going. Ask about his or her social relationships and if the situation has improved. Bullying incidents may not be resolved quickly and your child will benefit from your continued support.

Help your child connect with other children and develop new friendships.
Encourage your child to participate in activities that he or she enjoys and create opportunities for your child to spend time with children who share his or her interests. Supportive and positive peer relationships are important to your child’s development.